


I'm Glad You're Here, Man

by SandyLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, code, ss10 spn spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2578688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyLovesDestiel/pseuds/SandyLovesDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda for Soul Survivor. What if the last scene with Dean and Cas didnt end there? What if it continued with Dean telling Cas what he should have already said a long time ago?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Glad You're Here, Man

**Author's Note:**

> based off of this prompt:  
> *season ten spoilers so delete if you haven't seen it* Could you do non au about cas' reaction to dean not being a demon? (Or like rewrite the last scene from when cas was talking to dean in his room) end in first kiss and revelations of feelings?

There was a quiet yet sharp knock on the door and Dean looked up from his spot on the bed, putting aside the stack of old photos that he's been staring at with a sad smile on his face and a dull ache in his chest, and called out:

"Yeah."

The bedroom door cracked open and through it Cas appeared. He looked weary, the angel, Dean noticed, but much better than when he last saw him. That was the up side.

"You look terrible," Cas told him solemnly but with a hint of kindness and his voice gentle.

Dean just chuckled and shook his head, getting to his feet, facing Cas. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again."

"No, it wouldn't kill me." Cas was taken back like he always did when he was chastised and stammered: "I just… you - "

"Forget it." Dean gave his head a small shake of his head. "Well, you, on the other hand, you…" He took a good full look at Cas' appearance and cleared his throat. Definitely better. That's a good thing. "Looking good."

His best friend smiled a small smile, his gaze averting toward the ground as he nodded.

"So, are you back?" Dean asked tentatively, watching his reaction.

"At least temporarily," Cas answered and at the confused look on Dean's face, added: "Yeah, it's a long story. Crowley, stolen grace…" And all Dean could do was nod. Cas had done this once before. Taking someone else's grace to use it as his own. And as far as Dean cared, angels are dicks anyway. But Crowley? That part he was concerned about yet he didn't speak a word.

"There's a female out in the car," Cas continued when Dean didn't reply. Once again, Dean gave him a confused look and Cas just said: "Another time."

Pursing his lips, the older Winchester brother bobbed his head twice in confirmation, his eyes on the ground. "Well, thank you for um… stepping in when you did."

He chanced a glance at Cas, meeting the other man's eyes and holding it for a few seconds before breaking the contact and heading back toward the bed, saying: "So does Sam say? Does he want a divorce?" He joked half-heartedly.

His gaze like magnets immediately drew to the photos that he'd left on the bed. But instead of picking them up and continuing to stare obsessively at them, Dean just brushed them aside and sat down, his body almost plopping down onto the mattress in exhaustion.

"I'm sure Sam knows that whatever you said, or what you did, that wasn't really you," Cas began and Dean gave him a look. "Certainly it wasn't all you."

"I tried to kill him, Cas," Dean grumbled, his voice rough with raw emotion and pent up self-resentment.

"Dean, you two have been through so much," Cas rebuked. At Dean's silence, he decided to make a small speech about the matter. "Look, you're brothers. It'd take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away."

"You realized how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?"

Cas didn't say anything else, he just chuckled humorlessly at that.

"I'm glad you're here, man," Dean said and he lifted his head to meet the hunter's eyes.

Again, he didn't speak a word. Just nodded gently and began to turn away, Dean tracing his every movement as he swiveled around, took a step in the other direction before turning back to face him again.

"Hey, maybe you should, um...take some time before you get back to work -- allow yourself to heal," he said slowly."It's, uh… I don't know. Timing might be right. Heaven and Hell -- they seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there."

And with that, he gave Dean a small reassuring smile before heading toward the door.

This time, Dean stopped him.

"Cas?"

The angel looked around, his head cocking to the side in a silent question.

"I… uh…" Dean stammered, his hands coming up to rub at his face in frustration. "When I was a demon." Clears throat. "When I was a demon, i, ah… It was like being someone else entirely. It was like I had just died and woke up as someone else."

"Well, technically, Dean you did - "

"Damn it, Cas just let me finish," he grunted and watched as Cas pursed his lips and nodded, waiting patiently for him to finish and make his point. "And I was like a stranger with no emotional attachments to the things that had happened in the past even though my memories were intact and I could still remember what I had felt when I experienced each and every memory. And it was… thinking of it now, it was kind of an epiphany."

"Oh?" Castiel asked, his brows instinctively shooting up and a look of complete and utter surprise took over his features.

"Yeah," Dean replied. As he spoke, his gaze never met Cas' once. It was as if he was trying to avoid the angel's eyes, not daring to look into those beautiful blue depths and see for himself what a lie he's been telling to himself, and to others, as well. "Yeah… I mean, it was literally seeing things from a third person point of view. You examine the facts: the memory, the emotions that came along with the memory, the thoughts,... And you just come to a conclusion. You didn't have to deny anything because of some stupid ass reason, you didn't have to wave it off, ignore it or pretend that it didn't happen or that you don't feel it because it was of no concern to you. And as a demon, I got to experience that and Cas…"

"Yes, Dean?"

Dean looked up right then, straight into Cas' eyes as if finally getting enough courage to do so and said: "I'm in love with you, Cas."

The angel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, his head tilting further to the side. "Dean, I… I don't understand." He straightened up and shook his head twice.

"Jesus, Cas, what don't you understand?" Dean said, getting up from the bed and walking toward the angel, his angel, and repeated. "I'm in love with you, Cas. And I think it's past time we acknowledge that."

"Dean, last time I checked you loved wom - "

"Please, don't give me that bullshit. 'Cause I have and you know what? If you'd have taken a female vessel, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now and I'd be screwing your brains out for helping Sam to bring me back." Cas gave Dean a look of mixed between shock and bewilderment. "Sorry, a little too graphic but still." He took a deep, shaky breath, let it out then slowly repeated his words again. "I love you, Cas," he said, his voice small and unsure, almost like he was speaking mostly to himself just then. Trying to get himself to accept it, embrace it, as his demon self had. "I love you, and I have been loving you for a long time now but I was just too stupid to know it. I keep brushing it off, Cas. Putting it in the box at the back of my head and locking it there but Cas, I love you. I love you."

Then he kissed him. A full blown kiss on the lips, their stubble scratching at each other's faces, sending small waves of shock down their spines but their lips were soft and yielding and it was like a match lighting up the embers of desire that had been there, stewing and waiting to be fully set ablazed for so long. And their bodies just took over.

Cas' hands came up roam Dean's body like he's been doing so forever, an instinct, it felt natural to him as Dean backed him up and plastered them both against the wall, their bodies bumping and grinding against each other's.

The feeling of strong, lean muscle under Dean's hands were foreign to him but he loved it nonetheless. It was such an exhilarating contrast to what he was used to and for some reason, he seemed to even love it just a bit more.Slowly, the pieces of clothes clinging onto their bodies came off and as they both came up for air, Cas whispered to Dean: "So you knew that you loved me by turning into a demon."

"Yes."

"Should I be bothered by that fact?"

"No. Not unless you don't feel the same way." At that, Dean began to waver. Worry flashed in his eyes but was gone as quickly as it came and Cas smiled.

"Don't worry. I do."

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make my heart stops ;3 Thanks for reading you guys, hoped you liked it :)  
> I'm also on [tumblr](http://sheepishcas.tumblr.com/) :o


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